I was talking to a friend of mine. She broke up with her boyfriend a couple weeks ago, and is still in denial and in shock about it.
She was always someone who couldn´t be alone fo a long period of time. Therefore, she jumped from relationship to relationship. Of course, the good thing about it, is that she always had good company, but the downside is, that she never gave herself room to find her own personality and space to grow.
In todays blog post, I want to share a couple of tips, that I found necessary before starting a new relationship with someone. Enjoy!
Start to reflect
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
If you are not willing to be honest with yourself and think about the things that led to the end of the relationship, it can be sabotaging for every relationship that you will enter in the future. You should be honest with yourself and reflect intensively about every aspect of it. I am not saying, that it will be easy. Probably, it will be hard, sad and very difficult. But I promise you, when you were able to list the things you could have done different, it will be very freeing. The process will prepare you for a better future.
Do things you always wanted to do
For me, this is the part where I am the most excited about. It is important to always keep growing as an individual. Unfortunately, if we are in a relationship, we often become a symbiosis and tend to forget what our hobbies were and what we enjoyed doing. Therefore, you should embrace the freedom and experiment with things you always wanted to do, or start again with the thing you gave up or neglected.
I remember, after my previous relationship ended, I focused more in learning about investing and side hustles because I my interest grew alot during my first semesters in my business studies. During the relationship, I felt discouraged, because he was very negative towards high goals and achievements of other people (one of the reasons, we broke up). So, you always wanted to learn singhalese? Make it happen!
Make a PRO List
Especially if you were the one being left, it can leave you broken and full of self-hate. Questions cloud your mind like „Did he ever loved me? Am I good enough? Who else wants me? Will I be alone forever? “ It is normal, that your self worth drops intensively after a break up. But always remember, that there was a good reason for that. Obviously, the person is not right for you anymore, and you should move on from that. I know, it is easier said than done. A good method for encouraging yourself is, a Pro List. You should write it on paper. Your task is , to write everything down, you think is beautiful about yourself. It should be a love letter to yourself.
For example: Jenny, I think you are an incredible person. You are loyal and support the ones you love 100% You are so ambitious and you try to be always kind and friendly towards other. You make people laugh and smile and you don´t take yourself too serious…
(That felt great! lol)
If you remind yourself, how awesome you are, you eventually attract people who see you the same.
Spend time with your friends
It is common that people tend to neglect their friends when they are in a serious relationship. It is unfortunate, because ideally, your friends were there before the new partner entered the picture- and will be there afterwards. If it was the case, that you isolated yourself, it is time to apologize for that and start doing better. Now, that you have more time, you can invite your friends for a drink and lunch and strenghten the bond you had before. It is a win-win situation, because you are getting distracted with positive vibes and your friends have you back. It should be a teaching lesson for you, to start balancing the time you make for people much better. Your new positive energy is radiant and will attract other nice people.
What are your tips before entering a new relationship?
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