I have grown so much in the last 3 years because alot of things happend in my life. I got rid of „friends“ ex boyfriends and just weired human beeings in general. I was and i am so sick and tired to please always other people instead of myself. To all my friends who are reading this article and think they are meant: If you are thinking that i am talking about you- probably i am.
It is not about beeing selfish. It is about taking care of yourself and to treat you good.
In this article i want to share with you 4 signs of a toxic friendship.
1. You compete with them
That is one of the most ennoying sign, because it is so ridiculous to me. In the past, i had a friend that always did exactly the same thing like me. Suddenly we had the same music interests, same clothing style, damn- she even start talking like me! A good friend should not see you as a threat but as someone close to you, that he/she want to support in every aspect of his/her life.
I noticed that it is easier said then done for many people. Especially if you have something what the other person always wanted.
2. Everything is about them
Uh, that is in 90% of cases the problem. I am more a listener then a talker because i dont like to put myself so much in focus. The problem is: People LOVE to talk about themself and i learned the hard way, that i need to share more information about myself as i want to in order to be heard. Otherwise i get easily lost in the sauce. Not easy if you are a highly empathic person but it is not impossible.
3. They are too negative
I am a really optimistic person. Because i believe in God, i never give up and put the head in the sand becuase i am certain that everything in my life will be okay.
Because i am like that,it is really bothering me if people constantly complain about little things. They will drag the athmosphere down and eventually their behaviour will deflect on your own behaviour. If you spotted such a friend, it is important that you talk to her/him and say that it is bothering you and that you dont longer want to deal with it. If you see a change into the positive direction- good for you both! If the person dont want to change or dont really try work on that- you can cut it loose!
4. You can not trust them
If you can not trust your friend, than i would not call her/him a friend. In my opinion all form of relationships are build of trust and it is really hard to gain trust. I had a friend in my school and everything i told her about my private life, the next day half of th class knew about it. I was aweful but i realised quickly that i had to be careful around her. When i confronted her with her newspaper behaviour she just brushed it off and said `I did not know that it was such a secret!` yes,,,ok friend.
You forgive but you never forget.
You cant be there for somebody else, if you are not there for yourself Ndidi! -Mum
Who broke your trust? What other signs do you see in a toxic friend?
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